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Literature Text
She giggled.
“What are you giggling for? I can’t see a bloody thing.”
Another giggle. “Of course you can’t, stupid. What did you expect?”
She was annoying as hell. “You’d think they’d at least give us some light down here.”
“It’s a dungeon. That would defeat the purpose.”
“Why would that defeat the purpose?” I shouted, feeling my hand along the wall to explore. The experience showed that it was a small dungeon. Small and slimy. I automatically moved to wipe my hand on my shirt, only to remember that it was gone. The thought pissed me off, it had been my favorite shirt.
“...and the dark also adds to the spooky atmosphere of being thrown into the dungeon,” she was saying. She was obnoxiously hard to ignore.
I figured it would be a good time to interrupt her. “This is your first time being thrown in a dungeon, isn’t it?”
She sounded dejected about being interrupted. Good. “Sure, but that makes it all the more exciting!” the girl blurted. If only she knew how ridiculous she sounded.
I felt my way around the small slimy room again to the bench I had discovered on my first trip around. I sat on something soft and squishy. “What the hell? When did you get there?”
“Get where?”
The soft, squishy thing struggled and oofed a few more times before I realized I had sat on someone else in the dungeon. “Who the hell are you?” I yelled, springing off it.
“That’s a good question,” a male voice replied.
I decided he was annoying too. “Where did you come from? I didn’t run into you when I first looked around!”
The girl giggled again. The guy gave a small laugh too and said, “Looking won’t do you much good down here, you can’t see anything. But perhaps you just weren’t looking hard enough.” Oh yeah, he was really annoying.
“I felt around the entire room and you weren’t here before!” I yelled. He pissed me of nearly as much as losing my shirt.
There was a tone of smugness to his reply that further ticked me off. “Yes I was,” he said. “Hey who is this guy anyway?”
She giggled yet again. Damn her and her accursed giggling! “Just some stupid guy who got himself caught with me. I don’t think he did it on purpose.”
“I think you’re right, he sounds rather clueless. Either way, it shouldn’t interfere with our plans.”
“Yeah, shouldn’t be a problem.”
“You two know each other? You can’t have gotten yourselves caught on purpose! What the hell is this plan?”
The two of them burst out laughing at the same time. It was doubly irritating. I yelled at them some more, but they refused to answer me. And they kept on laughing. Eventually I gave up and settled on the floor. It was slimy too.
After a time, silence descended upon the dungeon. “So will you at least tell me the plan for escape?” I asked gruffly. I was trying to sound gruff.
“Escape?”
Another freaking giggle. “Who said anything about escape?”
“What are you giggling for? I can’t see a bloody thing.”
Another giggle. “Of course you can’t, stupid. What did you expect?”
She was annoying as hell. “You’d think they’d at least give us some light down here.”
“It’s a dungeon. That would defeat the purpose.”
“Why would that defeat the purpose?” I shouted, feeling my hand along the wall to explore. The experience showed that it was a small dungeon. Small and slimy. I automatically moved to wipe my hand on my shirt, only to remember that it was gone. The thought pissed me off, it had been my favorite shirt.
“...and the dark also adds to the spooky atmosphere of being thrown into the dungeon,” she was saying. She was obnoxiously hard to ignore.
I figured it would be a good time to interrupt her. “This is your first time being thrown in a dungeon, isn’t it?”
She sounded dejected about being interrupted. Good. “Sure, but that makes it all the more exciting!” the girl blurted. If only she knew how ridiculous she sounded.
I felt my way around the small slimy room again to the bench I had discovered on my first trip around. I sat on something soft and squishy. “What the hell? When did you get there?”
“Get where?”
The soft, squishy thing struggled and oofed a few more times before I realized I had sat on someone else in the dungeon. “Who the hell are you?” I yelled, springing off it.
“That’s a good question,” a male voice replied.
I decided he was annoying too. “Where did you come from? I didn’t run into you when I first looked around!”
The girl giggled again. The guy gave a small laugh too and said, “Looking won’t do you much good down here, you can’t see anything. But perhaps you just weren’t looking hard enough.” Oh yeah, he was really annoying.
“I felt around the entire room and you weren’t here before!” I yelled. He pissed me of nearly as much as losing my shirt.
There was a tone of smugness to his reply that further ticked me off. “Yes I was,” he said. “Hey who is this guy anyway?”
She giggled yet again. Damn her and her accursed giggling! “Just some stupid guy who got himself caught with me. I don’t think he did it on purpose.”
“I think you’re right, he sounds rather clueless. Either way, it shouldn’t interfere with our plans.”
“Yeah, shouldn’t be a problem.”
“You two know each other? You can’t have gotten yourselves caught on purpose! What the hell is this plan?”
The two of them burst out laughing at the same time. It was doubly irritating. I yelled at them some more, but they refused to answer me. And they kept on laughing. Eventually I gave up and settled on the floor. It was slimy too.
After a time, silence descended upon the dungeon. “So will you at least tell me the plan for escape?” I asked gruffly. I was trying to sound gruff.
“Escape?”
Another freaking giggle. “Who said anything about escape?”
Indeed they are.
Hey lookie, I wrote stuff. That isn't fanfiction. *shock and amazement!* I think I wrote it last Saturday during a blackout. Written by flashlight in a notebook then typed up. I just kind of flowed freely with it and let it go where it wanted. To get the writing juices flowing and all that. So I don't know where the heck it's going or what's even happening at the moment. And that title is just a temporary thing because I couldn't think of anything better. Will there be more? Who knows?
Please critique the hell out of this. It will make my ego cry like a little girl, but I shall take it like a man. I want to get better, yes I do.
The random characters, (whoever they are) © Me
Hey lookie, I wrote stuff. That isn't fanfiction. *shock and amazement!* I think I wrote it last Saturday during a blackout. Written by flashlight in a notebook then typed up. I just kind of flowed freely with it and let it go where it wanted. To get the writing juices flowing and all that. So I don't know where the heck it's going or what's even happening at the moment. And that title is just a temporary thing because I couldn't think of anything better. Will there be more? Who knows?
Please critique the hell out of this. It will make my ego cry like a little girl, but I shall take it like a man. I want to get better, yes I do.
The random characters, (whoever they are) © Me
© 2006 - 2024 johwee
Comments10
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For being written during a blackout, this is really good! The only thing I found "wrong" with it was your choice of words. Like, I noticed you used "annoying" at least three different times, and while that really isn't a big issue, because this piece is short, the word seems a lot more noticeable. I suggest you simply change one use of "annoying" for a similar word. Sorry if this seems petty. Other than that, this is awesome!
"Who said anything about escape?" So creepy!
"Who said anything about escape?" So creepy!